


Between the Glass

by WelcometoGeekdomThyla



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Oh wait, i totally didn't cry writing this, radiation chamber scene, so yeah be prepared for that, yeah I did
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-25
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2018-02-10 09:11:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2019411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WelcometoGeekdomThyla/pseuds/WelcometoGeekdomThyla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The radiation chamber scene, from Spock's point of view... with some added/expanded telepathy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Between the Glass

"Engineering to bridge, Mister Spock."

"Mister Scott."

"Sir, you'd better get down here. Better hurry."

 

* * *

He knew the moment Commander Scott spoke what had happened. If the engineer had not gotten the Enterprise running again, there was only one other man on board ~~selfless brave~~ ~~brilliant~~ illogical enough to do what needed to be done. Extrapolating all possible solutions and outcomes, there was only one viable result -- Captain James T. Kirk was dying.  


Spock had never run so fast in his life.

* * *

 

When he reaches Engineering Commander Scott just looks at him. Spock cannot be sure, with human emotions the way they are, but the Commander is looking at him with what appears to be sympathy, and pure sorrow.

No. There has to be another way. It cannot end here.

He cannot die here.

He  _cannot_.

* * *

 

The fact that he asked the question when he already knew the answer proved how frayed his control was. The door could not be opened without killing Commander Scott and himself as well, and that would make the Captain's - Jim's - bravery for naught. 

Instead, he kneels at a glass window, hand reaching for that he cannot touch. Jim smiles at him from death's door, reaching back with his last movements. As human fingers touch glass, Spock can suddenly, shockingly, feel him, feel Jim. Unbidden, his shields drop, seeking to keep his Captain close. He can feel the human's presence in his mind, the golden warmth that is brighter than he ever imagined it could be.

/Spock./

The first tear falls.

"I'm scared, Spock."

/I'm glad you're here with me./

/Jim./ Spock sounds pained even to himself.

"I want you to know why I went back for you."

"Because you are my friend."

/Because I love you, you Vulcan idiot./

/Jim./

/I loved you the second you stood up in that damned hearing./

/Jim./

/I loved you when you came back onto our bridge./

/Jim please./

/The way you always know the exact time. The way you focus when you play chess. The way you smile with your eyes when you think no one is looking./

/Please don't leave me./

/I don't want to./

* * *

 

Spock can feel it, feel everything through where the glass separates them, can feel the crushing devotion Jim projects at him, an overwhelming force of love and he can only project images back, images of startling blue eyes finding him across a room, of a smile brighter than the sun just for him, a sight that makes his heart pound a little faster in his side but he doesn't know, doesn't realize why until it is too late and --

/It should have been me./

/In another life, maybe./ A tilt of the lips turns into a grimace.

/Jim./

/Yeah, Spock./

/I did not know./

/Me neither, until just now. It's always been you. It's always you./

He can sense it now, can feel the spot where Jim Kirk resides in his mind darken, and that's when he sees it, a shimmering thread of light among the dim. That is when he knows, the moment he realizes what they have lost.

/T'hy'la./

/Ashayam./ Spock takes another moment to fall in love all over again, to mourn the brilliant mind and soul that is James T. Kirk.

The fingers form a ta'al on the window but Spock is still holding on, still grasping at a fading spark, still reaching for that he will never touch again.

The hand falls to the ground and the scream is tearing its way through the air before he can stop it and then he is whirling, storming past a sobbing Uhura and an ashen Scott, the fires not of passion but of rage burning in his veins, in his  _katra_ , seeking vengeance, seeking justice, seeking the blood of the one who took his mate from him.


End file.
